I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
