you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
