I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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