I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
