Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
