Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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