I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
