My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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