The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
