only if we run a train.
done.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
