I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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