Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
