she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
