I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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