just come out here and I will go home with you...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
