you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
