I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Of course I have a pirate flag
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
