Duck Duck Cougar?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
