Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
