Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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