I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
