Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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