Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
