Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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