Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
