Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
