i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
