I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
