The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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