I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Randomize
