that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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