What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
