So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
