Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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