I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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