ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
