he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
