I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
