You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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