So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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