im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
