Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Panties = found
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
