Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
