I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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