If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
