i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
