So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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