Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
