i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
