Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
