Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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