Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
