Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
