She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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