I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
