found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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