i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
