I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
if only i could text you this smell
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
