Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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